Talking about death is
often difficult. Yet a death in the family may create
problems for survivors which can sometimes be alleviated
by discussion and pre-planning. Funeral and burial
arrangements are an important consideration and should
be discussed openly and frankly. Pre-arranging and
sometimes prefinancing a funeral is a method some
people choose to assist their survivors after death
occurs.
In many things, which are pre-planned, there can
be unforeseen developments between the time of planning
and of putting the plans into effect. This is especially
true in the pre-arranging of funerals, since there
is no way of knowing beforehand exactly when, where,
how and under what circumstances death will come.
And these unknown factors could alter original plans
substantially.
Careful counseling with an experienced funeral director
can avoid unwise planning or even fraudulent schemes
involving particularly the financing of funerals in
advance of death.
There are many different reasons for pre-arranging
a funeral. Some persons, especially those who are
alone in the world, may want the assurance of a funeral
and burial which meet their personal beliefs, standards
or life-style. Others feel a responsibility to assist
survivors by arranging approximate funeral and burial
cost guidelines. Still others have moved to distant
places, or maintain both summer and winter residences.
They may want to make sure that certain recommendations
are heeded as to where the funeral and burial or other
final disposition will take place. Actually, there
are almost as many explanations for pre-arranging
funerals as there are people requesting them.
Advantages or disadvantages of funeral pre-arrangements
depend upon the individual circumstances and cannot
be generalized. What may be satisfying for some could
be impractical for others. Pre-arranging a funeral
is often a tentative plan contingent upon the belief
that circumstances will remain relatively stable during
the remaining lifetime of the pre-arrange- and of
those whom he or she involves in the arrangements.
Before prescribing a definite kind of funeral or
type of final disposition, it is always wise to consider
and consult those survivors who will be most affected
by the death. Grant them the opportunity to be active
planning participants, not just passive spectators.
This is prudent because when death comes it may have
strong emotional impact upon the other members of
the family. Permitting them to assist in making funeral
and burial arrangements could serve as a healthy outlet
for their grief and anxiety. Giving them the privilege
of performing a last act of recognition, honor, and
respect for the deceased will dramatize eloquently
to all the reality that a life has been lived.
Aside from the specific personal reasons for discussing
funeral arrangements in advance of need, there is
an additional benefit. The subject of death is brought
out in the open and the family is afforded an opportunity
to mutually share their thoughts about its important
considerations. Mental health is never sustained by
the denial of death, but by the frank acknowledgement
of this reality of life. Entering into a pre-arrangement
agreement with a funeral director also provides an
opportunity to indicate one's wishes in writing. It
ought to be prefaced by a review and evaluation of
current funeral costs, funeral ceremonies and alternate
funeral and burial procedures. Thus counseling with
a funeral director could well be a significant educational
experience.
All funeral homes have access to a pre-arrangement
form. Some have plans designed for their own use.
Together, you and the funeral director can discuss
all necessary details. Once the pre-arrangement is
completed, the client should notify some responsible
person or persons that such an agreement exists and
where it may be found. If desired, the funeral director
will supply additional copies for informational purposes.
|
