Funeral Ceremony Etiquette

Unfortunately, the time will come in your life to attend the funeral ceremony or celebration of life for a family member or friend. This is a very trying time, and while your mind is still reeling over your loss, you might be wondering about the right things to do (or not do) at a funeral home.

At Dolan Funeral Home, we’ve helped countless families in the greater Lowell and southern New Hampshire areas with funeral planning. Whether you’re interested in pre-arranging a funeral or need to plan a funeral ceremony that’s more immediate, contact us. We are a family-run funeral home in Chelmsford, MA and will help you create a celebration of life or funeral ceremony that suits your unique needs.

Here are some things to keep in mind when it comes to etiquette.

What to Wear

Traditionally, the color to wear to a funeral has been black. However, more recently, the dress code has become more business casual or similar to what you’d wear to church. Dark colors and black are absolutely just fine to wear, but are not required. Dressing conservatively is ideal, as opposed to festive, bright clothing, as well as jeans. All that said, the family of the deceased might want to honor their loved one with a theme, such as Hawaiian-style shirts.

How to Talk to Family

By going to a celebration of life ceremony, you’re not only honoring your loved one, but you’re providing support to his or her family. Knowing what to say or how to act when you greet them can be difficult—you might worry about saying the wrong thing or not saying enough. Expressing your thoughts and how much you cared for the deceased is a sincere sentiment, and can bring comfort. Depending on the context, you might have a moment to share a fond memory. Try to avoid saying things like, “They are in a better place,” or “At least you had a chance to say good-bye,” for example. While you might see the bright side, or feel that you can offer these thoughts for comfort, they are likely not to bring any.

Put Away Your Phone

A funeral ceremony is a time in which you should completely silence your phone and turn off the vibration feature as well. Glancing at your phone for texts or missed calls is disrespectful to those around you, and can be very distracting. The best course of action is to turn your phone to airplane mode, then check it after you have left the funeral home.

Respect the Family’s Wishes

During this very difficult time, the family may communicate wishes that could prove to be disappointing to some. They may wish to have a family-only funeral ceremony, a private burial, or opt not to have a service at all. While this can be trying for some, respecting the wishes of the family is of the utmost importance.

Arrive Early

If the ceremony begins at 10am, you should plan to arrive at 9:40 or 9:50. This will give you the chance to speak with other guests and to be seated by an usher. While the unexpected can certainly happen and you arrive late, rather than walk through the center aisle of the funeral home or church, find a side aisle so that you can take your seat as discreetly as possible.

Contact Dolan Funeral Home for your funeral planning needs today.

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